25th Worst Movie: Down To You

"Down To You"
Starring Julia Stiles, Freddie Prinze Jr. and Selma Blair
Directed by Kris Isaccsson

Down To The Nitty Gritty
Michele Dillon

In case you are on the edge of your seat wondering what the nitty gritty is, I will tell you: the nitty gritty is where I would rather have been than watching this movie. To have to watch a movie with Julia Stiles AND Freddie Prinze Jr., I didn’t think that I would survive, let alone be able to make it through the opening 15 minutes. I LOATHE Julia Stiles. Sometimes I sit up at night wondering how someone like her could have gotten in the acting business. Let’s look at the facts here. 1.) She can’t act, so logically you would think that she would have to be good looking, 2.) She is not good looking, so logically you would think she might have to have big boobs or a good body, 3.) She does not have big boobs or a nice body, so naturally you would think that if she doesn’t have those three things that there is only one option for her to have broken into the movie biz and that would be 4.) She slept with someone really powerful and that has a fetish for sleeping with girls with bags over their head.

Ok, ok, I will stop ragging on Julia Stiles for the moment and start talking about the movie itself. Um, no, in case you were wondering, I do NOT like it when actors talk directly into the camera as if they are telling the story to someone (not to be confused with documentary style sitcom filming of The Office or Parks and Recreation…completely different dynamic and works well). This was not done documentary style, it was done in the style of the director thinking “I don’t want to do voice over with two different people, and I don’t want to film scenes that we have to make lots of sets for so my only option is to put them both in front of the camera to talk for ¾ of the movie”. If you ever want to see someone barf into their own mouth, then you should have been there while I was watching this. The worst part is, the movie left a worst aftertaste in my mouth than the barfing did. I really don’t think anything else better than that can describe the train wreck that is this movie and everything about it so I think that I will leave you with that. I’m really sorry but the puke taste is coming back just thinking about it.