“Stay Alive” Starring Jon Foster, Samaire Armstrong and Frankie Muniz
Directed by William Brent Bell
I Stayed Alive
By Michele Dillon
So because of the fact that I have not described what a movie is actually about in a long time in one of my reviews, I will start again in this one. The premise of the movie is that there is a video game called “Stay Alive” and once you play it and die in the game, then you die the same way in real life as you did in the game. That is about all the time I will waste on what the movie is about.
Now, I am probably being biased since I am half in love with Jon Foster (the other half of my love goes to my fiancé, Josh, OK its probably more like 40/60) but this movie wasn’t all that bad. I would have to say the worst part of the whole movie was that they gave all the cussing lines to Frankie Muniz and if you have ever seen Malcolm in the Middle, it would sound like the weirdest thing in the world to hear Malcolm cuss. The rest of the bad of the movie is (and yes, I know that fragment does not make sense, Microsoft Word alerted me of that) that the script isn’t the greatest, I guess that is directly correlated to the cussing but I actually cannot think of anything else that would warrant this movie being on the list. I think I could replace it with about 10 other movies that are a lot worse than this one. I am not going to veto it off the list however because I am neutral about it, so I do not feel strongly enough to use my well deserved and amazingly thought out vetoes.
The End
P.S. I love Jon Foster
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
61st Worst Movie: Jawbreaker
“Jawbreaker” Starring Rose McGowan, Julie Benz and Rebecca Gayheart
Directed by Darren Stein
Psychotic Break
By Michele Dillon
Watching this movie, I was just dying to make one of my lists as to why this movie is so bad so do not deny me of my one hope and dream! Oh yeah, you can’t…it’s not like you can make me stop typing or anything…
Before I start, I will give a brief synopsis of the movie so you know what I am talking about: Three girls kidnap their best friend at the beginning of the movie for her birthday and one of the girls decides to stick a jawbreaker in the friend’s mouth and then duck tape it so she can’t scream. They put her in the trunk and then when they open it, the jawbreaker is stuck in her throat and she is obviously dead.
Reasons Why This Movie Sucks
1.) The girls that were supposed to be playing Highs School-ers looked like they were in their late 20’s. Not that that is old, but people in their late 20’s cannot pull off looking like they are 18, it is just not plausible.
2.) Rose McGowan should stick to acting on the show Charmed. Reason? Because she sucks at acting and that show excels on amazingly bad talent.
3.) It was ridiculous that McGowan’s character had absolutely no remorse for her friend dying and the fact that she was the one that accidentally did it. The movie was trying to act like that is how bitchy teenagers act, but really, that just means that you are psychotic.
4.) It was even more ridiculous that instead of making McGowan’s character get caught by the police at the end of the movie, they just made this big whole scene on how her “High School career” was over because everybody thinks she is a murderer. News Flash: her WHOLE life is over because she IS a murderer, whether on accident or not. She would not have gone to jail if she had just called the police after it happened and admitted it was an accident.
5.) The filming was so off the wall, it reminded me of Slackers. It had all these dream sequences that were not dream sequences but sometimes they were…knock it off people, I do not like these! Either it’s a dream sequence or it is not! You cannot have both! BTW- what is the obsession with dream sequences anyway, you can just take a hint from me right now, they are dumb and they never turn out as good as you are probably thinking it will in your head. I obviously have very strong opinions about this; sorry if you do not understand my overreaction about dream sequences…it makes sense to me…
6.) I’m flying amongst a sky full of clouds, my head is floating, oh my god, when could heads start floating, this is crazy! I start taking my floating ahead across the universe and we travel until no one understands where we are going with my bodiless self (that was an example of a dream sequence, in a movie, they take all those words that I just wrote and try to make it into images on the screen, it never works out. It was annoying and it sucked right? Now do you understand?)
Directed by Darren Stein
Psychotic Break
By Michele Dillon
Watching this movie, I was just dying to make one of my lists as to why this movie is so bad so do not deny me of my one hope and dream! Oh yeah, you can’t…it’s not like you can make me stop typing or anything…
Before I start, I will give a brief synopsis of the movie so you know what I am talking about: Three girls kidnap their best friend at the beginning of the movie for her birthday and one of the girls decides to stick a jawbreaker in the friend’s mouth and then duck tape it so she can’t scream. They put her in the trunk and then when they open it, the jawbreaker is stuck in her throat and she is obviously dead.
Reasons Why This Movie Sucks
1.) The girls that were supposed to be playing Highs School-ers looked like they were in their late 20’s. Not that that is old, but people in their late 20’s cannot pull off looking like they are 18, it is just not plausible.
2.) Rose McGowan should stick to acting on the show Charmed. Reason? Because she sucks at acting and that show excels on amazingly bad talent.
3.) It was ridiculous that McGowan’s character had absolutely no remorse for her friend dying and the fact that she was the one that accidentally did it. The movie was trying to act like that is how bitchy teenagers act, but really, that just means that you are psychotic.
4.) It was even more ridiculous that instead of making McGowan’s character get caught by the police at the end of the movie, they just made this big whole scene on how her “High School career” was over because everybody thinks she is a murderer. News Flash: her WHOLE life is over because she IS a murderer, whether on accident or not. She would not have gone to jail if she had just called the police after it happened and admitted it was an accident.
5.) The filming was so off the wall, it reminded me of Slackers. It had all these dream sequences that were not dream sequences but sometimes they were…knock it off people, I do not like these! Either it’s a dream sequence or it is not! You cannot have both! BTW- what is the obsession with dream sequences anyway, you can just take a hint from me right now, they are dumb and they never turn out as good as you are probably thinking it will in your head. I obviously have very strong opinions about this; sorry if you do not understand my overreaction about dream sequences…it makes sense to me…
6.) I’m flying amongst a sky full of clouds, my head is floating, oh my god, when could heads start floating, this is crazy! I start taking my floating ahead across the universe and we travel until no one understands where we are going with my bodiless self (that was an example of a dream sequence, in a movie, they take all those words that I just wrote and try to make it into images on the screen, it never works out. It was annoying and it sucked right? Now do you understand?)
62nd Worst Movie: Undiscovered
“Undiscovered” Starring Steven Strait, Shannyn Sossamon and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz
Directed by Meiert Avis
I Discovered Boredom
By Michele Dillon
Hey look, Shannyn Sossamon is on another movie on the Worst list…I wonder if I should find the addresses of these repeat offenders and send them a letter that they need to pick their movies a little better…not that they would listen anyway. I am pretty sure that these actors know that they are picking a bad movie but they think they are doing the movie world some kind of justice by making independent films. Independent films are great, but only when they actually have a good storyline and good actors, just making a film because it is low budget and has a no name director does not mean that this is going to be the next breakout film at Sundance.
So this movie was basically about a guy who wants to be a singer/musician (but really he is a wannabe writer which you don’t even get that until the very end of the movie) and he meets this girl who he really likes but ends up moving to LA to get “made”. But magically the girl decides she wants to be an actress so she ends up moving to LA too. So really the story is just a love story that is a wanna be rock star story which really is neither because the movie lacks any kind of interesting plot, high-quality acting or a script that follows any kind of chronological order.
I wish this movie had never been discovered that way it never would have been put on this stinking list and then I would never have had to watch it…but I think the fact that the title of the movie is called “Undiscovered” someone would have picked it up just to see if it was really worth discovering and then that person probably burned their eyeballs out and accidentally forgot that he did not want anyone else to have to suffer through the pain that he had too so he dropped the movie on the sidewalk and then someone else picks it up and it goes on and on like that until finally everyone knows that this movie is one of the worst movies in the world but it doesn’t even matter anymore because we don’t have eyeballs…
Directed by Meiert Avis
I Discovered Boredom
By Michele Dillon
Hey look, Shannyn Sossamon is on another movie on the Worst list…I wonder if I should find the addresses of these repeat offenders and send them a letter that they need to pick their movies a little better…not that they would listen anyway. I am pretty sure that these actors know that they are picking a bad movie but they think they are doing the movie world some kind of justice by making independent films. Independent films are great, but only when they actually have a good storyline and good actors, just making a film because it is low budget and has a no name director does not mean that this is going to be the next breakout film at Sundance.
So this movie was basically about a guy who wants to be a singer/musician (but really he is a wannabe writer which you don’t even get that until the very end of the movie) and he meets this girl who he really likes but ends up moving to LA to get “made”. But magically the girl decides she wants to be an actress so she ends up moving to LA too. So really the story is just a love story that is a wanna be rock star story which really is neither because the movie lacks any kind of interesting plot, high-quality acting or a script that follows any kind of chronological order.
I wish this movie had never been discovered that way it never would have been put on this stinking list and then I would never have had to watch it…but I think the fact that the title of the movie is called “Undiscovered” someone would have picked it up just to see if it was really worth discovering and then that person probably burned their eyeballs out and accidentally forgot that he did not want anyone else to have to suffer through the pain that he had too so he dropped the movie on the sidewalk and then someone else picks it up and it goes on and on like that until finally everyone knows that this movie is one of the worst movies in the world but it doesn’t even matter anymore because we don’t have eyeballs…
Friday, December 18, 2009
63rd Worst Movie: Ultraviolet
“Ultraviolet” Starring Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright and Nick Chinlund
Directed by Kurt Wimmer
Ultra-boring
By Michele Dillon
This movie managed to bore me, intellectually make me dumber, make me confused and make me wish I had nice abs; all at same the time. As far as CGI goes, this is also right in line with “Catwoman”, meaning that it sucked. Lets look at this analytically, since I am the one that writes these reviews and I can do whatever I want (unless of course anyone decides to read my reviews and advises me that I need to not do whatever I want, then I would do what I want but very STRONGLY think about what I would do if I didn’t do what I want).
First off, I don’t understand, and I’m pretty sure that I am one of the smartest people on earth, so I should understand, why Jovovich’s character was able to change the color of her clothes and her hair and store weapons inside of her body. Nowhere in the movie, did it attempt to explain, except for maybe a split second, why she was able to do this.
Second, the aforementioned CGI; the whole movie looked like a cartoon. On one hand, they could have purposefully done this because they wanted to make it look futuristic but on the other hand, I don’t care about that and I think that if you are going to make a movie that is set in the future, then you need to make it look as real as possible because when time continues and the years go by, the world isn’t going to start looking like a cartoon.
Third, Jovovich has abs that make me think that I look like a fat ass.
Fourth, this movie was written and directed by the same person. His last name isn’t Winner for a reason.
Fifth, sixth and seventh, I have no other points…I just wanted you to keep reading my review until you were as bored as I was by the end of this movie.
Eighth, I forgot, there was this one scene where Jovovich went to the top of a building to escape, but there were a bunch of guys up there trying to block her, so she killed them all, and instead of actually escaping by the roof like she originally intended, she went back down the stairs, so basically she killed all those people and didn’t even need to…she is going to hell.
Ninth, OK, that is really it.
Directed by Kurt Wimmer
Ultra-boring
By Michele Dillon
This movie managed to bore me, intellectually make me dumber, make me confused and make me wish I had nice abs; all at same the time. As far as CGI goes, this is also right in line with “Catwoman”, meaning that it sucked. Lets look at this analytically, since I am the one that writes these reviews and I can do whatever I want (unless of course anyone decides to read my reviews and advises me that I need to not do whatever I want, then I would do what I want but very STRONGLY think about what I would do if I didn’t do what I want).
First off, I don’t understand, and I’m pretty sure that I am one of the smartest people on earth, so I should understand, why Jovovich’s character was able to change the color of her clothes and her hair and store weapons inside of her body. Nowhere in the movie, did it attempt to explain, except for maybe a split second, why she was able to do this.
Second, the aforementioned CGI; the whole movie looked like a cartoon. On one hand, they could have purposefully done this because they wanted to make it look futuristic but on the other hand, I don’t care about that and I think that if you are going to make a movie that is set in the future, then you need to make it look as real as possible because when time continues and the years go by, the world isn’t going to start looking like a cartoon.
Third, Jovovich has abs that make me think that I look like a fat ass.
Fourth, this movie was written and directed by the same person. His last name isn’t Winner for a reason.
Fifth, sixth and seventh, I have no other points…I just wanted you to keep reading my review until you were as bored as I was by the end of this movie.
Eighth, I forgot, there was this one scene where Jovovich went to the top of a building to escape, but there were a bunch of guys up there trying to block her, so she killed them all, and instead of actually escaping by the roof like she originally intended, she went back down the stairs, so basically she killed all those people and didn’t even need to…she is going to hell.
Ninth, OK, that is really it.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
64th Worst Movie: Chill Factor
“Chill Factor” Starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Skeet Ulrich and Peter Firth
Directed by Hugh Johnson
Below Freezing
By Michele Dillon
What a surprise, yet another movie on the list that Cuba Gooding Jr. is in. So far it has been Boat Trip and this one but I still feel like he is the worst actor out of all the movies I have watched. What is with his high pitched voice? I have heard it be low and normal but it seems like in these past two movies he cannot reach a normal range.
So there were two major things that were wrong with this movie. 1.) Most of the script required the actors to see “Whoo hoo!” or “Oh Shit” and 2.) It was unbelievable (not like the song “You’re Unbelievable” where it is meant in a good way, but unbelievable as in I did not for one second believe that what was happening in the movie could happen. Usually that latter can be a good thing because it causes you to use your imagination. In this case, however, it was just plain stupid because it was like they were trying to stretch the rubber band until it was no longer stretchable (and rubber bands are stretchy!). On top of all that, as if it was not bad enough, I think the movie was supposed to be considered an action movie but usually in a good action movie you will see normal people doing extraordinary things. In this movie, you see normal people doing extraordinarily stupid things; like climbing on the side of a truck while it is moving to do absolutely nothing except get the crap kicked out of them.
I just love how I have stopped giving the premises of the movies and go straight into bashing them. Anyone who reads these are probably thinking,” I don’t even know what this movie is about but I already hate it!”. Well good! That is what I want you to think…
Directed by Hugh Johnson
Below Freezing
By Michele Dillon
What a surprise, yet another movie on the list that Cuba Gooding Jr. is in. So far it has been Boat Trip and this one but I still feel like he is the worst actor out of all the movies I have watched. What is with his high pitched voice? I have heard it be low and normal but it seems like in these past two movies he cannot reach a normal range.
So there were two major things that were wrong with this movie. 1.) Most of the script required the actors to see “Whoo hoo!” or “Oh Shit” and 2.) It was unbelievable (not like the song “You’re Unbelievable” where it is meant in a good way, but unbelievable as in I did not for one second believe that what was happening in the movie could happen. Usually that latter can be a good thing because it causes you to use your imagination. In this case, however, it was just plain stupid because it was like they were trying to stretch the rubber band until it was no longer stretchable (and rubber bands are stretchy!). On top of all that, as if it was not bad enough, I think the movie was supposed to be considered an action movie but usually in a good action movie you will see normal people doing extraordinary things. In this movie, you see normal people doing extraordinarily stupid things; like climbing on the side of a truck while it is moving to do absolutely nothing except get the crap kicked out of them.
I just love how I have stopped giving the premises of the movies and go straight into bashing them. Anyone who reads these are probably thinking,” I don’t even know what this movie is about but I already hate it!”. Well good! That is what I want you to think…
Saturday, December 12, 2009
65th Worth Movie: Deck the Halls
“Deck the Halls” Starring Danny DeVito, Matthew Broderick and Kristin Davis
Directed by John Whitesell
Deck My Face
By Michele Dillon
That’s really what I wanted someone to do to me when I was watching this movie…just to make it end. I couldn’t believe that the movie was really about Danny DeVito being the new neighbor and his aspiration was to make his house seen from space with all the Christmas lights. Literally, that was what the movie was about. Oh, and the fact that Matthew Broderick hates DeVito for it…wow…good storyline…wake me up before I wet the bed from excitement. To make things worst, the director is a completely boring person and that is probably why he thought this movie was funny in the first place. How do I know the director is boring? Because my fiancé decided to put the commentary on after the movie ended and instead of actually commentating on the movie, the director just sat there and watched it and laughed and every ONCE in awhile interjected with a small, but very boring, fact about the making of the movie. It shouldn’t really be that shocking since Broderick and DeVito are probably the most boring actors out there and I am not even sure why they still have movie careers (they are small but still existent). All that said this is the second Christmas that has been on this list. I am pretty sure that they could come up with a full 100 Worst Movie list for just Christmas movies…don’t worry I will not do a blog on that.
Directed by John Whitesell
Deck My Face
By Michele Dillon
That’s really what I wanted someone to do to me when I was watching this movie…just to make it end. I couldn’t believe that the movie was really about Danny DeVito being the new neighbor and his aspiration was to make his house seen from space with all the Christmas lights. Literally, that was what the movie was about. Oh, and the fact that Matthew Broderick hates DeVito for it…wow…good storyline…wake me up before I wet the bed from excitement. To make things worst, the director is a completely boring person and that is probably why he thought this movie was funny in the first place. How do I know the director is boring? Because my fiancé decided to put the commentary on after the movie ended and instead of actually commentating on the movie, the director just sat there and watched it and laughed and every ONCE in awhile interjected with a small, but very boring, fact about the making of the movie. It shouldn’t really be that shocking since Broderick and DeVito are probably the most boring actors out there and I am not even sure why they still have movie careers (they are small but still existent). All that said this is the second Christmas that has been on this list. I am pretty sure that they could come up with a full 100 Worst Movie list for just Christmas movies…don’t worry I will not do a blog on that.
66th Worst Movie: Date Movie
“Date Movie” Starring Alyson Hannigan, Sophie Monk and Eddie Griffin
Directed by Aaron Seltzer
First and Last Date
By Michele Dillon
I don’t know if any of you have seen a pattern yet, but Eddie Griffin has been in a lot of movies that are in this list…
Anyway, I will be the first to tell you that I love Alyson Hannigan. I will also be the first to tell you that I hate this movie. It’s disgusting, it has bad acting (Alyson was still funny but she was the only one), it has a bad script…it makes me almost want to vomit every time I see it. I really don’t think there is a good satire movie out there yet, I am trying to think of one, if I can then I will let you know. I can’t think of anything good to say about this movie other than it was kind of fun trying to guess what movie that they were referring too in each scene.
I think I have actually seen this movie too many times for how bad it is. I saw it in the theatre, I watch it whenever it is on TV (but only if it is someone else’s TV), and I also own the movie, but only because my fiancé’s mom got it for us for Christmas. I am not sure if she actually hasn’t seen it before and just thought we would like it or if she actually likes the movie herself. I am not sure I want to know because the movie is kind of raunchy…but anyway, that is all I have to say about this movie.
Directed by Aaron Seltzer
First and Last Date
By Michele Dillon
I don’t know if any of you have seen a pattern yet, but Eddie Griffin has been in a lot of movies that are in this list…
Anyway, I will be the first to tell you that I love Alyson Hannigan. I will also be the first to tell you that I hate this movie. It’s disgusting, it has bad acting (Alyson was still funny but she was the only one), it has a bad script…it makes me almost want to vomit every time I see it. I really don’t think there is a good satire movie out there yet, I am trying to think of one, if I can then I will let you know. I can’t think of anything good to say about this movie other than it was kind of fun trying to guess what movie that they were referring too in each scene.
I think I have actually seen this movie too many times for how bad it is. I saw it in the theatre, I watch it whenever it is on TV (but only if it is someone else’s TV), and I also own the movie, but only because my fiancé’s mom got it for us for Christmas. I am not sure if she actually hasn’t seen it before and just thought we would like it or if she actually likes the movie herself. I am not sure I want to know because the movie is kind of raunchy…but anyway, that is all I have to say about this movie.
67th Worst Movie: Boat Trip
“Boat Trip” Starring Cuba Gooding Jr., Horatio Sanz and Roselyn Sanchez
Directed by Mort Nathan
Bad Trip
By Michele Dillon
I can’t believe I had to watch this movie. Two of the things I hate the most: Cuba Gooding Jr. and Cuba Gooding Jr. in drag. Who comes up with these movies? So far, I have had to watch, just to name a few, a movie about a guy in a fat suit (Norbit), TWO movies where a guy sticks his hand up a cow’s butt (Say It Isn’t So and Serving Sara), and now TWO movies about a guy dressing like a woman (Juwanna Mann and Boat Trip). Why are there so many screenwriters out there who think we want to watch these kinds of movies? It’s getting to be a little ridiculous. I knew that I was going to have to watch some BAD movies, but this is just silly! Here is my handy dandy list to tell you what I hated about this movie:
1.) The beginning
2.) The middle
3.) The end
Directed by Mort Nathan
Bad Trip
By Michele Dillon
I can’t believe I had to watch this movie. Two of the things I hate the most: Cuba Gooding Jr. and Cuba Gooding Jr. in drag. Who comes up with these movies? So far, I have had to watch, just to name a few, a movie about a guy in a fat suit (Norbit), TWO movies where a guy sticks his hand up a cow’s butt (Say It Isn’t So and Serving Sara), and now TWO movies about a guy dressing like a woman (Juwanna Mann and Boat Trip). Why are there so many screenwriters out there who think we want to watch these kinds of movies? It’s getting to be a little ridiculous. I knew that I was going to have to watch some BAD movies, but this is just silly! Here is my handy dandy list to tell you what I hated about this movie:
1.) The beginning
2.) The middle
3.) The end
68th Worst Movie: Lost Souls
“Lost Souls” Starring Winona Ryder, Ben Chaplin and Sarah Wynter
Directed by Janusz Kaminski
Lost & Lost
By Michele Dillon
I only say “Lost & Lost” because I am not sure what I gained from watching this movie. Other than being able to mark it off my remaining list (which does not seem to be dwindling at all, in fact, I am pretty sure that MORE movies have been added behind my back). The movie was KIND OF interesting…I say KIND OF because it got my interest but then lost it because it didn’t explain a lot of things. It was kind of like a parent trying to have the “sex” talk with you, your interest was peaked because they said “sex” but the way they explain it is absolutely not interesting at all, and they leave very important details out. The movie was about a man who is possessed at the very beginning and he keeps repeating this secret code, which Ryder cracks and then discovers this really important secret that she tries to tell someone that needs to know but only on a need to know basis…hey, I would be perfect to become a screenwriter and then make really horrible movies with that line I just used. My fiancé was thoroughly bored because you can’t get anything past him, unless of course, you don’t explain yourself. I am pretty sure that this movie was training for Ryder for when she shoplifted; she learned how to jump around the real story. Just like the movie was KIND OF interesting, I also KIND OF understood it; enough to actually weasel my way through this review anyway. How did I do? Answer: *horrible (refer to Surviving Christmas review for description).
Directed by Janusz Kaminski
Lost & Lost
By Michele Dillon
I only say “Lost & Lost” because I am not sure what I gained from watching this movie. Other than being able to mark it off my remaining list (which does not seem to be dwindling at all, in fact, I am pretty sure that MORE movies have been added behind my back). The movie was KIND OF interesting…I say KIND OF because it got my interest but then lost it because it didn’t explain a lot of things. It was kind of like a parent trying to have the “sex” talk with you, your interest was peaked because they said “sex” but the way they explain it is absolutely not interesting at all, and they leave very important details out. The movie was about a man who is possessed at the very beginning and he keeps repeating this secret code, which Ryder cracks and then discovers this really important secret that she tries to tell someone that needs to know but only on a need to know basis…hey, I would be perfect to become a screenwriter and then make really horrible movies with that line I just used. My fiancé was thoroughly bored because you can’t get anything past him, unless of course, you don’t explain yourself. I am pretty sure that this movie was training for Ryder for when she shoplifted; she learned how to jump around the real story. Just like the movie was KIND OF interesting, I also KIND OF understood it; enough to actually weasel my way through this review anyway. How did I do? Answer: *horrible (refer to Surviving Christmas review for description).
69th Worst Movie: The New Guy
“The New Guy” Starring DJ Qualls, Eliza Dushku and Zooey Deschanel
Directed by Ed Dector
Seriously?
By Michele Dillon
I had a WAY better headline for this review but I am not going to use it for the sake of not offending people. I’m pretty sure that you could guess it. The second best headline, that I used, basically describes how much I don’t understand how this movie was made…I remember watching this before, and I must have had a really bad taste in movies back then because I do NOT remember it being as bad as it was this time around. So many things are wrong with this movie and I think the only way to describe it is with a Pro and Con list…
Cons
1.) The acting: Zooey Deschanel, why did you damage my idea of you being one of the best little independent actresses out there. I think I might forgive you since this movie was made so long ago. Eddie Griffin, how many times did you really have to do the “snake eyes”, I’m sure 1 million was not really written in the script.
2.) The script: It could have been OK story except for the fact that they made it predictable, boring and repetitive.
3.) The filming: The way the scenes were set up made the movie seem very choppy and you didn’t really understand what was real and what wasn’t until a few minutes after it occurred. Hint for if you watch the movie: nothing in the movie is supposed to be a dream sequence no matter how much it seems like it is.
4.) What’s left to pick on about the movie other than that it is just horrible…plain horrible…
Pros
1.) You probably saw this one coming, if you know me at all, if I am going to whip out the pro and con list, usually there is no pro, and that is the case this time around as well…
Directed by Ed Dector
Seriously?
By Michele Dillon
I had a WAY better headline for this review but I am not going to use it for the sake of not offending people. I’m pretty sure that you could guess it. The second best headline, that I used, basically describes how much I don’t understand how this movie was made…I remember watching this before, and I must have had a really bad taste in movies back then because I do NOT remember it being as bad as it was this time around. So many things are wrong with this movie and I think the only way to describe it is with a Pro and Con list…
Cons
1.) The acting: Zooey Deschanel, why did you damage my idea of you being one of the best little independent actresses out there. I think I might forgive you since this movie was made so long ago. Eddie Griffin, how many times did you really have to do the “snake eyes”, I’m sure 1 million was not really written in the script.
2.) The script: It could have been OK story except for the fact that they made it predictable, boring and repetitive.
3.) The filming: The way the scenes were set up made the movie seem very choppy and you didn’t really understand what was real and what wasn’t until a few minutes after it occurred. Hint for if you watch the movie: nothing in the movie is supposed to be a dream sequence no matter how much it seems like it is.
4.) What’s left to pick on about the movie other than that it is just horrible…plain horrible…
Pros
1.) You probably saw this one coming, if you know me at all, if I am going to whip out the pro and con list, usually there is no pro, and that is the case this time around as well…
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
70th Worst Movie: The Reaping
“The Reaping” Starring Hilary Swank, David Morrissey and Idris Elba
Directed by Stephen Hopkins
I Reaped the Benefits
By Michele Dillon
I am just going to come right out and say it; this movie is going to be my second veto that I apply. The Reaping does not deserve to be on this Worst list. I watched this when it came out in the theatre, rented a few times after that and then watched and thoroughly enjoyed it for this review. I see nothing that is so wrong with this movie that it deserves to be on this list. I think that whoever voted negatively for this movie was probably a pissed off religious person who didn’t like the message of the movie. However, offensive to you or not, the movie still had a good script and was acted well. Ok, so the ending wasn’t great, and was kind of Soap Opera-y-ish BUT the rest of the movie had a lot going for it and I have seen A LOT worse. Now, I am not saying either that this is one of the best movies I have seen (Ahem, Inglorius Basterds, Ahem). I just think that if I can watch a movie numerous times, not get bored from it and still enjoy the idea then it is not a bad movie in my opinion. There really isn’t anything else to say because the movie is kind of hard to explain without giving anything away. I will just put a side bar in here with a brief description.
Side bar: it’s about the 10 plagues.
Directed by Stephen Hopkins
I Reaped the Benefits
By Michele Dillon
I am just going to come right out and say it; this movie is going to be my second veto that I apply. The Reaping does not deserve to be on this Worst list. I watched this when it came out in the theatre, rented a few times after that and then watched and thoroughly enjoyed it for this review. I see nothing that is so wrong with this movie that it deserves to be on this list. I think that whoever voted negatively for this movie was probably a pissed off religious person who didn’t like the message of the movie. However, offensive to you or not, the movie still had a good script and was acted well. Ok, so the ending wasn’t great, and was kind of Soap Opera-y-ish BUT the rest of the movie had a lot going for it and I have seen A LOT worse. Now, I am not saying either that this is one of the best movies I have seen (Ahem, Inglorius Basterds, Ahem). I just think that if I can watch a movie numerous times, not get bored from it and still enjoy the idea then it is not a bad movie in my opinion. There really isn’t anything else to say because the movie is kind of hard to explain without giving anything away. I will just put a side bar in here with a brief description.
Side bar: it’s about the 10 plagues.
71st Worst Movie: Surviving Christmas
“Surviving Christmas” Starring Ben Affleck, Christina Applegate and James Gandolfini
Directed by Mike Mitchell
Surviving Affleck
By Michele Dillon
Ben Affleck plays three basic (very basic) types of roles in his movies; stoner guy, romantic comedy guy and one very rare occasion an actual real actor (Good Will Hunting). This movie adds a fourth type of role to his filmography and I hope it is just as rare as his acting ability cause I don’t think I ever want to see it again; crazy weirdo! He goes from being completely normal in the beginning of the movie, some macho guy who has a lot of money and wants to go to Fiji for Christmas to some crazy whacko who decides to visit his old family home and then rent the family that lives there to be his fake mom, dad and brother for the Christmas holiday. I have to admit that this storyline stank, but the actual delivery of it wasn’t *horrible (* See definition at bottom of review). I was mildly entertained throughout just because I thought it was ridiculously funny how stupid Affleck was being. I was actually really surprised that Christina Applegate let herself be seen in this movie and on top of that decided to actually portray the character from the script and recite lines from it…she must not have had a very good agent at the time. I am not really going to step all over every actor that was in the movie, just mainly Affleck because I feel after all the movies that he has made, somewhere deep down, there HAS to be a good actor (reminiscent of his Good Will Hunting character) but he is just unwilling to unleash it or he will have to deal with higher fame. Come on Affleck, if you don’t shape up soon, you might be the next Tom Cruise (someone who started out as an actor but as he got richer, he decided not to act anymore, or rarely, but he still gets all the fame and attention because he is CRAZY!). I have no more to say to you other than, I like your brother, Casey Affleck, better (Gone, Baby, Gone…amazing).
*Horrible: any type of movie role that Ben Affleck, Jason Lee or any of his Kevin Smith affiliates may play.
Directed by Mike Mitchell
Surviving Affleck
By Michele Dillon
Ben Affleck plays three basic (very basic) types of roles in his movies; stoner guy, romantic comedy guy and one very rare occasion an actual real actor (Good Will Hunting). This movie adds a fourth type of role to his filmography and I hope it is just as rare as his acting ability cause I don’t think I ever want to see it again; crazy weirdo! He goes from being completely normal in the beginning of the movie, some macho guy who has a lot of money and wants to go to Fiji for Christmas to some crazy whacko who decides to visit his old family home and then rent the family that lives there to be his fake mom, dad and brother for the Christmas holiday. I have to admit that this storyline stank, but the actual delivery of it wasn’t *horrible (* See definition at bottom of review). I was mildly entertained throughout just because I thought it was ridiculously funny how stupid Affleck was being. I was actually really surprised that Christina Applegate let herself be seen in this movie and on top of that decided to actually portray the character from the script and recite lines from it…she must not have had a very good agent at the time. I am not really going to step all over every actor that was in the movie, just mainly Affleck because I feel after all the movies that he has made, somewhere deep down, there HAS to be a good actor (reminiscent of his Good Will Hunting character) but he is just unwilling to unleash it or he will have to deal with higher fame. Come on Affleck, if you don’t shape up soon, you might be the next Tom Cruise (someone who started out as an actor but as he got richer, he decided not to act anymore, or rarely, but he still gets all the fame and attention because he is CRAZY!). I have no more to say to you other than, I like your brother, Casey Affleck, better (Gone, Baby, Gone…amazing).
*Horrible: any type of movie role that Ben Affleck, Jason Lee or any of his Kevin Smith affiliates may play.
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