"Slackers" Starring Devon Sawa, Jason Segel and James King
Directed By Dewey Nicks
Slackers or Whackos?
By Michele Dillon
This was another one of the movies that I had already seen. I had watched it a few years back and I didn’t really think much of it then about whether it was good or bad. However, I didn’t put it on my list of favorites either. Now that I watched it again and was actually paying attention enough to critique the film, I can officially say, this is the 4th movie I have watched on the list, and I have not disagreed with it yet. I have watched my fair share of horrible movies in my life; it feels kind of weird watching so many in a row. I’m sure that by the end of this blog, I won’t dare watch another bad movie again…for at least 2 months. So let me get started on why this movie, for lack of a better word, sucked. For one, I am really sick of actresses like James King that put a bad name out there for other ladies who are trying to make their name in this business by actually using their acting chops. King, along with other young actresses such as Scarlett Johannsen, uses her sex appeal and tries to pass it off as a good performance. Yeah, it may be good to any man watching the movie, but for us women who don’t get blinded by her “amazing beauty” are stuck watching her acting instead, which is definitely lacking. On the other hand, as far as actors go, this movie has someone in it that I admire and respect for his talent; Jason Segel. This movie was made WAY before that respect grew however and everyone has a bad stage in their game and therefore, I forgive you Jason. So as for the plot, Slackers is about three guys who are in college who have made their way so far by concocting outrageous plans to cheat on their exams. This is working out for them quite well until a crazy psycho who is in love with a girl that one of them decided to talk too, blackmails them into trying to get her to like him or he will turn them in for cheating. Great storyline right? Wrong. These three guys are supposed to be smart enough to hack into the college computer systems, steal answers for tests and have gotten away with it for 4 years. We are supposed to believe, that in instead of using their superior knowledge to try and get the proof that the crazy psycho has to incriminate them, they are just going to go along with his whacko plan to swoon the girl for him. As if watching Jason Schwartzman portraying someone who is loony enough to be a serial killer isn’t enough to make the movie bizarre, it’s the random integrated scenes of dream sequences that have nothing to do with the movie’s plot whatsoever and are not entertaining which makes them a completely pointless addition to the film. I vow to never make another bad comment toward Halley Berry again if it means I don’t have to watch this overzealous, fanatical joke of a movie once more.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
98th Worst Movie: Norbit
"Norbit" Starring Eddie Murphy, Thandie Newton, and Eddie Griffin
Directed by Brian Robbins
“Norbit”uary
By Michele Dillon
I was in my right mind to fear watching this movie. I already was expecting it to be terrible and instead it was dreadful! Right now, the only good movie that I can remember Eddie Murphy being in is the Shrek series and he was playing an animated donkey. He needs to stop being an “ass” and start learning how to act again because pretty soon people are going to get tired of his one man show. I know I already am.
I think the only way to describe how awful this movie was, is to make a pros and cons list. I will start with the cons.
Cons
1.) Eddie Murphy in a fat suit portraying an evil, ugly woman who’s only dialogue is with herself and she seems to be in a competition to see how many times she can say “How YOU doin’?”. She almost won, if she had said it one more time, I would have slit my throat, or Eddie Murphy’s, whichever one would have been quickest.
2.) Cuba Gooding Jr. deciding to add yet another movie to his list of “how to persuade America I don’t deserve to make movies anymore, yet alone have been respected for my role in Radio”.
3.) Yet another storyline of boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, trouble ensues and boy gets blamed for something he did not do, boy proves himself right, boy gets girl. Did I give anything away?
4.) Fat humor…it’s not funny anymore. Wait…it was never funny.
Pros
1.) ????????
Directed by Brian Robbins
“Norbit”uary
By Michele Dillon
I was in my right mind to fear watching this movie. I already was expecting it to be terrible and instead it was dreadful! Right now, the only good movie that I can remember Eddie Murphy being in is the Shrek series and he was playing an animated donkey. He needs to stop being an “ass” and start learning how to act again because pretty soon people are going to get tired of his one man show. I know I already am.
I think the only way to describe how awful this movie was, is to make a pros and cons list. I will start with the cons.
Cons
1.) Eddie Murphy in a fat suit portraying an evil, ugly woman who’s only dialogue is with herself and she seems to be in a competition to see how many times she can say “How YOU doin’?”. She almost won, if she had said it one more time, I would have slit my throat, or Eddie Murphy’s, whichever one would have been quickest.
2.) Cuba Gooding Jr. deciding to add yet another movie to his list of “how to persuade America I don’t deserve to make movies anymore, yet alone have been respected for my role in Radio”.
3.) Yet another storyline of boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, trouble ensues and boy gets blamed for something he did not do, boy proves himself right, boy gets girl. Did I give anything away?
4.) Fat humor…it’s not funny anymore. Wait…it was never funny.
Pros
1.) ????????
Friday, August 28, 2009
148 Days To Go, No Additional Movies Watched
The next one on my list is Norbit....I am not looking forward to it. Yesterday, instead of being a lame person without a life and watching it so I don't have to worry about trying to make my deadline when it gets down to the last straw, I decided to go to an Indians baseball game with my boyfriend and his family. The tickets were free and I didnt watch one second of the game. They ended up winning but I didn't even care because I was perfectly happy drinking beer and talking with my boyfriend instead of letting him watch the game. Baseball is probably the worst sport ever. I can't wait for the hockey season to start. GO CHIEFS GO!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
99th Worst Movie: A Man Apart
"A Man Apart" Starring Vin Diesel, Larenz Tate and Timothy Olyphant
Directed by F. Gary Gray
A Man At Heart
By Michele Dillon
Vin Diesel: manly, muscular, dreamy...at least that is the perception of him by most easily distracted teenage girls. My perception of him is more like, I would like to get my hands on the person who handed him a script and then told him he could act, and then give that person a big giant noogie! I would be one of those people, and there aren't too many of them, who even though I see a preview of a movie and can tell it won't be good, I still want to give it a shot. Hence, it has always been my plan to watch A Man Apart at some point but I actually never got
around to it until now. The only reason I even thought about watching the movie in the first
place is because it had really good music in the trailer, which, strangly, is also how Diesel got me to watch Babylon AD, another disappointment. I am going to go ahead and say that this is yet another movie that is deserving of being on this list. I almost fell asleep twice, I thought the movie was going to end in three different places (which it never did) and it was very predictable. Yet it was still a step up in script as opposed to Catwoman, I will give it that. However, the whole movie did not make logical sense. Toward the beginning of the movie (spoiler alert), Diesel's wife gets killed and almost immediately he is already back at work trying to bring down her killer. That part makes sense, what doesn't make sense is that his boss at the DEA, doesn't give him any time to grieve and waits for Diesel to actually mess up before removing him from the case. Well duh, he is trying to hunt down the killer of his wife, he is not going to just arrest the guy, he is going to beat him to a pulp and risk other officers lives while doing it. I did not like the film style of the director at all either. He was all over the place. The movie is being filmed in what is supposed to be over 5 different locations of California, you can't even keep track of where they originally started and why it even matters that they are in San Pedro or Lower East Side. So end result of this horrible experience: droopy eyes and an increasing hatred of Vin Diesel.
Directed by F. Gary Gray
A Man At Heart
By Michele Dillon
Vin Diesel: manly, muscular, dreamy...at least that is the perception of him by most easily distracted teenage girls. My perception of him is more like, I would like to get my hands on the person who handed him a script and then told him he could act, and then give that person a big giant noogie! I would be one of those people, and there aren't too many of them, who even though I see a preview of a movie and can tell it won't be good, I still want to give it a shot. Hence, it has always been my plan to watch A Man Apart at some point but I actually never got
around to it until now. The only reason I even thought about watching the movie in the first
place is because it had really good music in the trailer, which, strangly, is also how Diesel got me to watch Babylon AD, another disappointment. I am going to go ahead and say that this is yet another movie that is deserving of being on this list. I almost fell asleep twice, I thought the movie was going to end in three different places (which it never did) and it was very predictable. Yet it was still a step up in script as opposed to Catwoman, I will give it that. However, the whole movie did not make logical sense. Toward the beginning of the movie (spoiler alert), Diesel's wife gets killed and almost immediately he is already back at work trying to bring down her killer. That part makes sense, what doesn't make sense is that his boss at the DEA, doesn't give him any time to grieve and waits for Diesel to actually mess up before removing him from the case. Well duh, he is trying to hunt down the killer of his wife, he is not going to just arrest the guy, he is going to beat him to a pulp and risk other officers lives while doing it. I did not like the film style of the director at all either. He was all over the place. The movie is being filmed in what is supposed to be over 5 different locations of California, you can't even keep track of where they originally started and why it even matters that they are in San Pedro or Lower East Side. So end result of this horrible experience: droopy eyes and an increasing hatred of Vin Diesel.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
100th Worst Movie: Catwoman
"Catwoman" Starring Halle Barry, Benjamin Bratt and Sharon Stone
Directed by Pitof
"Purr"fectly Boring
By Michele Dillon
If this is where the list is going to start, I am not looking forward to the next lot of movies. I have seen Catwoman before and I thought it then and I think it now: one of the worst movies...ever. If not for the horrible script with the ample associations with what the screenwriter assumes to be "catspeak" (example: "what a purrrfect idea" or "whats the matter, cat got your tongue"), then it's for the horrible delivery of those lines by who is supposed to be one of the best actresses in film. Or at least, I thought that is what the "Best Actress" Oscar was that was given to her for Monster's Ball. Halle Berry may be attractive and she may be willing to get naked to show that she has got "talent", but she is no Best Actress in my book. I am not even going to go into detail about Sharon Stone because it is pretty much a given that she has made bad movie decisions since Basic Instinct 2 (which by the way, is also on the Worst of the Worst list). As if having a horrible script and acting isn't enough to ruin a movie, director Pitof was able to contribute more! The act of simply walking in her catsuit couldn't be completed by Berry alone, it had to be manipulated with computer generation making it seem like a video game. I can understand the scenes where she is jumping from building to building but I don't even remember Spiderman's graphics being that bad.
I guess I was just supposed to ignore all these details and pay attention to how great Berry's "berries" looked in a tight leather outfit (sorry for the poorly planned but intentional pun). Or maybe I was supposed to be drooling over Benjamin Bratt in his uniform. Instead, I was more like drooling on my pillow from falling asleep due to lack of entertainment.
Directed by Pitof
"Purr"fectly Boring
By Michele Dillon
If this is where the list is going to start, I am not looking forward to the next lot of movies. I have seen Catwoman before and I thought it then and I think it now: one of the worst movies...ever. If not for the horrible script with the ample associations with what the screenwriter assumes to be "catspeak" (example: "what a purrrfect idea" or "whats the matter, cat got your tongue"), then it's for the horrible delivery of those lines by who is supposed to be one of the best actresses in film. Or at least, I thought that is what the "Best Actress" Oscar was that was given to her for Monster's Ball. Halle Berry may be attractive and she may be willing to get naked to show that she has got "talent", but she is no Best Actress in my book. I am not even going to go into detail about Sharon Stone because it is pretty much a given that she has made bad movie decisions since Basic Instinct 2 (which by the way, is also on the Worst of the Worst list). As if having a horrible script and acting isn't enough to ruin a movie, director Pitof was able to contribute more! The act of simply walking in her catsuit couldn't be completed by Berry alone, it had to be manipulated with computer generation making it seem like a video game. I can understand the scenes where she is jumping from building to building but I don't even remember Spiderman's graphics being that bad.
I guess I was just supposed to ignore all these details and pay attention to how great Berry's "berries" looked in a tight leather outfit (sorry for the poorly planned but intentional pun). Or maybe I was supposed to be drooling over Benjamin Bratt in his uniform. Instead, I was more like drooling on my pillow from falling asleep due to lack of entertainment.
The Idea
I have just watched the movie Julie and Julia and even though it wasn't a fantastic movie, it got me inspired to, like the movie, come up with a project to do within a deadline and then blog about it. So, since I am a big movie buff, I thought of a pretty fun but possibly miserable idea. I am going to watch, what is deemed by the movie review site Rotten Tomatoes, The 100 Worst Movies and then write a review on each one of them. So the goal will be to watch 100 movies in 150 days (I'm going to try and give myself room to have a life on the side of this project). I will, for the sake of the public, watch these horrible movies as to see whether or not I agree with the general opinion that they, well, suck...OR if I end up liking a few of them.
Looking at the list I can already tell right now that I will not like most of this journey. I have, on my own accord, watched a few of the movies before and have deemed them to be on my own personal Worst Movies list, but I will have to endure them one more for the sake of this project.
I will post each movie and their review as I watch them. It will start at the 100th worst movie all the way down to the WORST movie of them all.
Looking at the list I can already tell right now that I will not like most of this journey. I have, on my own accord, watched a few of the movies before and have deemed them to be on my own personal Worst Movies list, but I will have to endure them one more for the sake of this project.
I will post each movie and their review as I watch them. It will start at the 100th worst movie all the way down to the WORST movie of them all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
