"Kangaroo Jack" Starring Jerry O'Connell, Anthony Anderson and Estella Warren
Directed by David McNally
"Aus"um (You know like "Aus"trailia)
By Michele Dillon
Ok, so this movie was not exactly awesome but compared to all the other movies that I have had to sit through, this one was grade A. I thought it was going to be very childish but really the only thing that was child oriented about it was the CGI'd kangaroo. Everything else, such as the storyline and the script was very adult. I don't think I would have let my child watch this movie. Mostly the scene in the airport bathroom with the numerous inuendos of talking about something referred to as a "brown package" when they are really talking about a manilla envelope with $50,000 dollars in it.
This movie does make me wonder though, how come Jerry O'Connell hasn't done a good acting job since Stand By Me?
Anyway, back to the actual movie at hand. The storyline was kind of creative in a "the screenwriter must be high" kind of way and the acting wasn't that horrible in a "there must have not been anyone else who would do this" kind of way. I was actually expecting the kangaroo to talk throughout the movie but that only happened when the credits were rolling. All in all, I have seen WAY worse movies than this that I would gladly put on this list in its place.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
My Comments!
Ok, so I have a total of 2 followers...but who is counting.
I've got a total of 4 comments, 2 of which are from myself and 2 of which are from my mother...but who is counting....
Because of the above stated facts, I am going to get rid of my guest booker because it is not very efficient. It doesn't post the most recent comments, even though I have set it up to do it that way, and it makes you read the comments one by one instead of letting you scroll through them all and who knows, if one day I have a million comments, that could get very inconvenient. But who knows if my mom even has that much time on her hands anyway...
Don't let the fact that I don't have a guest book deter you from leaving a comment though! Instead- become my follower! Then you can leave a comment on any blog that you want! How exciting! Here is how to become my follower:
1.) Click on this link: https://www.google.com/accounts/NewAccount
2.) Type in your email address, create a password, and accept the terms and conditions to create an account.
3.) Sign in to www.blogger.com and visit my blog: www.worstoftheworstmovies.blogspot.com.
4.) On the very top of the screen there is an option that says: Follow Blog. Click on that and VOILA! You are my official blog follower!
If you already have a google account, then you can use the same user name and password to log in to blogger.com.
Just so you guys can remember what past readers (AKA: my mom) wrote before about my blog writing abilities I have posted them below for your viewing pleasure:
Comment from Deborah: "Interesting statement you made about Katie's cheezy look. You're right about unsalvagible story lines. How about the movies the directors turn into bad story lines from decent books- well that's just wrong. I like reading blogs like yours, which show strong voice and wit. "
Comment from Deborah: "Goodness I love your sense of humor on these musings. Not a bad poem, either. Not sure this message will take."
I've got a total of 4 comments, 2 of which are from myself and 2 of which are from my mother...but who is counting....
Because of the above stated facts, I am going to get rid of my guest booker because it is not very efficient. It doesn't post the most recent comments, even though I have set it up to do it that way, and it makes you read the comments one by one instead of letting you scroll through them all and who knows, if one day I have a million comments, that could get very inconvenient. But who knows if my mom even has that much time on her hands anyway...
Don't let the fact that I don't have a guest book deter you from leaving a comment though! Instead- become my follower! Then you can leave a comment on any blog that you want! How exciting! Here is how to become my follower:
1.) Click on this link: https://www.google.com/accounts/NewAccount
2.) Type in your email address, create a password, and accept the terms and conditions to create an account.
3.) Sign in to www.blogger.com and visit my blog: www.worstoftheworstmovies.blogspot.com.
4.) On the very top of the screen there is an option that says: Follow Blog. Click on that and VOILA! You are my official blog follower!
If you already have a google account, then you can use the same user name and password to log in to blogger.com.
Just so you guys can remember what past readers (AKA: my mom) wrote before about my blog writing abilities I have posted them below for your viewing pleasure:
Comment from Deborah: "Interesting statement you made about Katie's cheezy look. You're right about unsalvagible story lines. How about the movies the directors turn into bad story lines from decent books- well that's just wrong. I like reading blogs like yours, which show strong voice and wit. "
Comment from Deborah: "Goodness I love your sense of humor on these musings. Not a bad poem, either. Not sure this message will take."
Friday, October 16, 2009
86th Worst Movie: Gods and Generals
"Gods and Generals" Starring Jeff Daniels, Robert Duvall, and Stephen Lang
Directed by Ronald F. Maxwell
Boring and Boring
By Michele Dillon
I can't even review this movie. This is why...
I put it in and started watching: what a concept. The movie didn't make sense at all. It seemed like it just started out of nowhere and they were already in the middle of the war. You couldn't tell who the characters were either. Then I realized about halfway through...the dvd was one of those rare dvd's that has 2 sides and the first part of the movie was on the flipside of the disc...how stupid am I?
But I didn't have the guts to turn the movie over and watch the beginning because I was so bored from the ending! I'm sorry if I am letting my total of 3 followers (my mom doesn't know how to sign up for an account (or she doesn't want too) to be my REAL follower but she still reads it) down by not watching this movie in its entirety but I think that you should forgive me immediately...like now.
Directed by Ronald F. Maxwell
Boring and Boring
By Michele Dillon
I can't even review this movie. This is why...
I put it in and started watching: what a concept. The movie didn't make sense at all. It seemed like it just started out of nowhere and they were already in the middle of the war. You couldn't tell who the characters were either. Then I realized about halfway through...the dvd was one of those rare dvd's that has 2 sides and the first part of the movie was on the flipside of the disc...how stupid am I?
But I didn't have the guts to turn the movie over and watch the beginning because I was so bored from the ending! I'm sorry if I am letting my total of 3 followers (my mom doesn't know how to sign up for an account (or she doesn't want too) to be my REAL follower but she still reads it) down by not watching this movie in its entirety but I think that you should forgive me immediately...like now.
87th Worst Movie: Darkness Falls
"Darkness Falls" Starring Chaney Kley, Emma Caulfield, and Lee Cormie
Directed by Jonathan Liebesman
Darkness "Fails"
By Michele Dillon
Any movie that has to do with the tooth fairy has to be good, right? I wish I could have put this movie under my pillow and gotten my money back for it. OK, so it was on my online movie list so it was virutally free, and OK I am watching bad movies for the purpose of this blog, but who am I not to make fun of a bad movie if I have the chance?
The premise of the movie is basically a tooth fairy gone bad. An old woman's house caught fire and her face gets burnt so bad she has to walk around with a porcelain mask everywhere she goes. Two children went missing and she somehow got blamed, probably cause she wore a creepy porecelain mask. So the town decided to sentence her to death by hanging. Lo and behold, the two missing children came back the next day unharmed. But now, it is too late, she is coming back and haunting/killing/looking creepy in her porcelain mask on the night that a child loses their last tooth. In order to escape her wrath, you have to stay in the light; which is the case of the main character Kyle, who has been staying in the light for 17 years...can we say 'fraidy cat?
Now, I am not sure how the story of how the women died corresponds to her being afraid of light. Does the light remind her of the fire she burned in? If so, that has nothing to do with her being hung to death for a crime she did not committ...it was her own stupid fault that she got burnt in a fire and ended up with a fugly face...
Also, why does she target children when it was the adults that sentenced her to die? Old creepy lady, you don't make any sense! This was probably one of the most poorly developed horror movies I have ever watched. I could have played a drinking game to how many times anyone said "stay in the light" or "don't go in the dark" or "stop looking at me with your creepy porcelain face". Ok, so I made up that last one.
Anyway, what else can I say? This movie outdid itself in the art of sucking.
Directed by Jonathan Liebesman
Darkness "Fails"
By Michele Dillon
Any movie that has to do with the tooth fairy has to be good, right? I wish I could have put this movie under my pillow and gotten my money back for it. OK, so it was on my online movie list so it was virutally free, and OK I am watching bad movies for the purpose of this blog, but who am I not to make fun of a bad movie if I have the chance?
The premise of the movie is basically a tooth fairy gone bad. An old woman's house caught fire and her face gets burnt so bad she has to walk around with a porcelain mask everywhere she goes. Two children went missing and she somehow got blamed, probably cause she wore a creepy porecelain mask. So the town decided to sentence her to death by hanging. Lo and behold, the two missing children came back the next day unharmed. But now, it is too late, she is coming back and haunting/killing/looking creepy in her porcelain mask on the night that a child loses their last tooth. In order to escape her wrath, you have to stay in the light; which is the case of the main character Kyle, who has been staying in the light for 17 years...can we say 'fraidy cat?
Now, I am not sure how the story of how the women died corresponds to her being afraid of light. Does the light remind her of the fire she burned in? If so, that has nothing to do with her being hung to death for a crime she did not committ...it was her own stupid fault that she got burnt in a fire and ended up with a fugly face...
Also, why does she target children when it was the adults that sentenced her to die? Old creepy lady, you don't make any sense! This was probably one of the most poorly developed horror movies I have ever watched. I could have played a drinking game to how many times anyone said "stay in the light" or "don't go in the dark" or "stop looking at me with your creepy porcelain face". Ok, so I made up that last one.
Anyway, what else can I say? This movie outdid itself in the art of sucking.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
88th Worst Movie: White Noise
"White Noise" Starring Michael Keaton, Chandra West, and Deborah Kara Unger
Directed by Geoffrey Sax
Static-y
By Michele Dillon
So I actually went into this movie knowing nothing about it. I can't say I was pleasantly surprised, nor can I say that it was the "Worst" movie I've ever seen. The premise of this movie is that Michael Keaton's wife goes missing. A man approaches him and advises him that he has been recieving messages from her through EVP, which is Electronic Voice Phenomena. This is where you can hear voices of the dead in the white noise of radio and see faces from white noise on the TV. Not but one day later, his wife is found dead. Keaton then becomes obsessed with trying to hear his wife through EVP himself because he is convinced she is trying to communicate an important message to him. He soon realizes that you don't only hear the good people that died, you can also hear the bad. From then on, he tries to uncover the mystery of whether the bad people are really just voices or if they are having an affect on the real word.This is another case of the idea being really good but the movie not taking it as far as it can go. First off, they don't really go into great detail on explanations of why certain things occur so you are left trying to fill in the gaps yourself with your amazing knowledge of the subject of EVP. Which, unless I am the only one who first heard of EVP in this movie, then this can leave you very confused. Secondly, it is quite boring having to watch Keaton sit in front of a TV staring at the white noise OR sit in his car listening to white noise; watching...waiting...listening...waiting. They wasted too much time having the white noise be completely nothing. I think they were trying to create suspense so it would make us jump out of our seat once something actually happened...good thought, but the viewers might fall asleep first.Other than those two things, the rest of the movie was OK. I was kind of intrigued to see where they were taking it but overall I would give it a D+.
Directed by Geoffrey Sax
Static-y
By Michele Dillon
So I actually went into this movie knowing nothing about it. I can't say I was pleasantly surprised, nor can I say that it was the "Worst" movie I've ever seen. The premise of this movie is that Michael Keaton's wife goes missing. A man approaches him and advises him that he has been recieving messages from her through EVP, which is Electronic Voice Phenomena. This is where you can hear voices of the dead in the white noise of radio and see faces from white noise on the TV. Not but one day later, his wife is found dead. Keaton then becomes obsessed with trying to hear his wife through EVP himself because he is convinced she is trying to communicate an important message to him. He soon realizes that you don't only hear the good people that died, you can also hear the bad. From then on, he tries to uncover the mystery of whether the bad people are really just voices or if they are having an affect on the real word.This is another case of the idea being really good but the movie not taking it as far as it can go. First off, they don't really go into great detail on explanations of why certain things occur so you are left trying to fill in the gaps yourself with your amazing knowledge of the subject of EVP. Which, unless I am the only one who first heard of EVP in this movie, then this can leave you very confused. Secondly, it is quite boring having to watch Keaton sit in front of a TV staring at the white noise OR sit in his car listening to white noise; watching...waiting...listening...waiting. They wasted too much time having the white noise be completely nothing. I think they were trying to create suspense so it would make us jump out of our seat once something actually happened...good thought, but the viewers might fall asleep first.Other than those two things, the rest of the movie was OK. I was kind of intrigued to see where they were taking it but overall I would give it a D+.
89th Worst Movie: Elektra
"Elektra" Starring Jennifer Garner, Goran Visnjic and Kristen Prout
Directed by Rob Bowman
"Elektra"cuted
By Michele Dillon
I just can't get over how amazing my review titles are. They just keep getting cleverer and cleverer. Is cleverer a word? Anyway, I actually have seen this movie numerous times and I fail to see what is so deathly wrong with it. Sure, the script is cheesy if not barfarific (I'm pretty sure THAT is a word). And sure the acting is probably the worst I have ever seen Jennifer Garner do. Sure, it is really weird to see a crow fly out of someone's chest tattoo, but that means nothing! This movie is awesome! Ok, maybe not awesome...probably the only thing that is awesome actually is Garner's abs, but still. It has a lot going for it. Lets list them:
1.) Jennifer Garner
2.) Jennifer Garner's Abs
3.) Jennifer Garner in skimpy clothing (because even a girl can appreciate it)
4.) Jennifer Garner kicking butt and last and probably the most important thing
5.) Jennifer Garner
So now that I have summed this up for you, it is VERY clear that this movie should not be anywhere on this Worst Movie list and it is just propestperous (spell check) to say otherwise. In fact, it should be on the Top 100 Best Movies...yeah I said it.
(Side note: for those of you who do not know me that well and can not recognize my humor, the above review was basically all sarcasm.)
Directed by Rob Bowman
"Elektra"cuted
By Michele Dillon
I just can't get over how amazing my review titles are. They just keep getting cleverer and cleverer. Is cleverer a word? Anyway, I actually have seen this movie numerous times and I fail to see what is so deathly wrong with it. Sure, the script is cheesy if not barfarific (I'm pretty sure THAT is a word). And sure the acting is probably the worst I have ever seen Jennifer Garner do. Sure, it is really weird to see a crow fly out of someone's chest tattoo, but that means nothing! This movie is awesome! Ok, maybe not awesome...probably the only thing that is awesome actually is Garner's abs, but still. It has a lot going for it. Lets list them:
1.) Jennifer Garner
2.) Jennifer Garner's Abs
3.) Jennifer Garner in skimpy clothing (because even a girl can appreciate it)
4.) Jennifer Garner kicking butt and last and probably the most important thing
5.) Jennifer Garner
So now that I have summed this up for you, it is VERY clear that this movie should not be anywhere on this Worst Movie list and it is just propestperous (spell check) to say otherwise. In fact, it should be on the Top 100 Best Movies...yeah I said it.
(Side note: for those of you who do not know me that well and can not recognize my humor, the above review was basically all sarcasm.)
Monday, October 5, 2009
Stay Tuned...
The next two blogs I will be writing are for the movies: Elektra and White Noise. They should be posted within the next couple of days. Until then, lets enjoy an Ode, everybody loves an Ode:
Ode to the Worst Movies
Oh, movie directors, all the wonder you create.
If not for you, this blog would not be my fate.
Oh wonderful actors, all the classes you could take.
But if you did, how many good movies could you make?
These past 10 movies have been a dread.
After 100, I just might be dead.
Some were good, some were OK.
Some bad enough the directors should pay.
Oh Worst Movies, how you make me feel
Like a brand new woman, reel after reel
By Michele Dillon
Ode to the Worst Movies
Oh, movie directors, all the wonder you create.
If not for you, this blog would not be my fate.
Oh wonderful actors, all the classes you could take.
But if you did, how many good movies could you make?
These past 10 movies have been a dread.
After 100, I just might be dead.
Some were good, some were OK.
Some bad enough the directors should pay.
Oh Worst Movies, how you make me feel
Like a brand new woman, reel after reel
By Michele Dillon
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