“Code Name: The Cleaner”
Starring Cedric the Entertainer, Lucy Liu and Nicolette Sheridan
Directed by Les Mayfield
Nickname: The Spleener
By Michele Dillon
Only because about 1.5 of you understands my humor, so I will explain…the title of this review is supposed to symbolize that this movie was so bad, it ripped out my spleen. I know…pretty much the best one I have come up with yet.
I am pretty sure 1.5, if not all of you, know how much I do not enjoy Cedric the Entertainer…at the very least his name should be changed to Cedric: The Terminator of All Things Considered Funny. Maybe this goes back to my “this just isn’t my type of humor kind of thing”, but I would really hate to think that there is someone out there who really enjoyed this movie. Thought it was OK, maybe, LOVED IT, let’s hope not. Let’s play Would You Rather. Would you rather watch a movie with Cedric the Entertainer in it for the rest of your life or watch a movie with Hilary Duff in it for the rest of your life. My answer would be “I would rather gouge my eyeballs out, Alex”.
If I am going to publicly acknowledge this movie as bad, I should probably explain what the so called “plot” was about. Cedric wakes up with amnesia in a hotel with a dead FBI agent and a briefcase full of cash. This leads him to believe he is in the CIA and that something went wrong in his investigation….naturally. It basically is trying to spoof Bourne Identity the whole time but in a really bad way. So Cedric goes about half the movie not remembering anything but making up this double life for himself where he is some kind of respected spy but come to realize that he is actually a janitor who just got involved in something really bad. Ooops, I hope I didn’t wreck it for you…even though I was able to figure out what was going on about 2 minutes into the movie anyway so I’m sure you will be fine if you actually wanted to consider watching this.
I can’t really think of much else to say about this movie, other than list 3 things I would rather have been doing than watching it…
1.) Scrubbing a toilet in a male prison
2.) Plucking out my leg hairs individually
3.) Rubbing someone’s feet that has fungus
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