34th Worst Movie: Because I Said So

“Because I Said So” Starring Mandy Moore, Diane Keaton and Lauren Graham
Directed by Michael Lehmann

Because I Killed Myself
By Michele Dillon

(You guys may be wondering why there is a big blank space above this…it is because; as you can see from the title of this review…I killed myself. I was able to get my ghost to reincarnate herself into an animate object so she should type this portion (you may also be wondering why if its my ghost writing this, why is she taking in first person like its actually me…we will get to that later). So it is now, where I will tell you the story of why I killed myself. It should be pretty obvious if you have even attempted to watch this movie, I can’t think of anyone in their right mind who would ever voluntarily put themselves through watching this movie in full (well besides me of course). So in memory of myself, I am going to make one of my famous lists…

Lists Of Reasons Why I Felt The Need To Kill Myself (Even Though I Had A Really Good Long Life Ahead Of Me….And I Was Pretty Sure I Was Gonna Be Really Rich And Famous…And Pretty….Oooh, Oooh And Famous…Oh Wait I Already Said That)

1.) Diane Keaton’s voice and her constant complaining!
2.) Mandy Moore…that’s it…just Mandy Moore…does anyone really need a specific reason to not like Mandy Moore? (Just in case you do, I will give you one…she can’t act)
3.) The horrible….barf in my own mouth…script! I do not understand! How do these people look at these scripts and think “This will be an amazing movie! And you know what would make it even more amazing? If we casted horrible actors!”(Diana Keaton would probably be the only actress in this movie that is not horrible but just ended up doing a horrible job in the movie)
4.) The premise of the movie was about a mom who wanted to hook up her daughter with someone so she posted an ad online and behind the daughter’s back would hold the meetings with them and have them pretend to go meet her on accident…what kind of daughter loving mother would do that?! (Kind of like, what life loving bee would sting you? Which by the way, did you know that Wasps don’t die after they sting you? And they are the huge scary ones! What kind of stupid messed up sh** is that?)
5.) I could go on to write down every single director, producer, actor, co-producer, writer, co-writer of this movie but my ghost really does not have much more time left…a rhinoceros probably wasn’t the best thing to come back as…they have borderline ADD and I am really wondering how she was even able to type this with their gigantic feet/hands/paws…whatever you call them.

Oh and remember when I said I was going to tell you why if it’s my ghost writing this, why is she taking in first person like it’s actually me? Well here is why…

…because I said so.