35th Worst Movie: The Perfect Man

“The Perfect Man” Starring Hilary Duff, Heather Locklear and Chris North
Directed by Mark Rosman

“The Imperfect Hilary Duff”
By Michele Dillon

Picture this: Hilary Duff’s voice. Now picture this: Hilary Duff’s voice for 1 ½ hours straight (not even blocked out by other actors because she was in almost every scene). Now I am not going to say that there is some kind of pattern here, but it does seem kind of odd that there are at least three movies (The Perfect Man, Cheaper By the Dozen 2, Material Girls) that Hilary Duff has been in that are on this Worst Movie List. I am pretty sure that if they made a Worst CD List, for some odd reason Hilary Duff would be on that as well…but once again, no pattern whatsoever that I am seeing here…mere coincidences. In order for you to understand the pain that I had to endure while watching this movie, I am going to make a list of things that Hilary Duff’s character (which by the way, is always the same in all her movies so they should really just name her Hilary) did during this movie that made it completely horrible, predictable and also very unlikely.

1.) She was writing a blog (uh, hello…since when could Hilary Duff write OR read for that matter…it’s a well known fact that people have to feed the lines to her because she cannot do these things)
2.) We are supposed to believe that she is cute enough to get a good looking guy to like her within the first two seconds of meeting her and then after meeting her, when she opens her mouth and talks, he is not disgusted and he keeps talking to her…eww
3.) Her character is trying to make her mom happy by creating a non-existent guy and making her believe that he is real and that he actually wants to be with her (how would that make her happy again Hilary? Where was the sensitive thought in this?)
4.) During the movie, while she is trying to make her mom believe this guy is real, she does numerous horrible things such as:
a. In order to ensure that her mom does not meet the guy who she is trying to make her mom believe likes her, she puts a match to the sprinklers to make them go off in his restaurant, which would completely ruin the entire restaurant and let’s just hope that this guy has insurance for that…otherwise he is screwed
b. She barges in on a wedding, makes the bride think that her soon to be husband cheated on her, so she punches him, but really nothing like that happened so she basically ruined this woman’s wedding
5.) Has anyone ever noticed that before Hilary Duff got horrible horse teeth and lost all that weight that she had a really tiny bubble butt? Yes, this has nothing to do with the movie (or really her teeth, I just wanted to mention the horse teeth) but it was something that I noticed while watching it so I thought I should bring it up.

So really, that is all I have to say about this Perfect Barf-fest, if you have any further questions about my hatred for Hilary Duff, I will be happy to answer them.