87th Worst Movie: Darkness Falls

"Darkness Falls" Starring Chaney Kley, Emma Caulfield, and Lee Cormie
Directed by Jonathan Liebesman

Darkness "Fails"
By Michele Dillon

Any movie that has to do with the tooth fairy has to be good, right? I wish I could have put this movie under my pillow and gotten my money back for it. OK, so it was on my online movie list so it was virutally free, and OK I am watching bad movies for the purpose of this blog, but who am I not to make fun of a bad movie if I have the chance?

The premise of the movie is basically a tooth fairy gone bad. An old woman's house caught fire and her face gets burnt so bad she has to walk around with a porcelain mask everywhere she goes. Two children went missing and she somehow got blamed, probably cause she wore a creepy porecelain mask. So the town decided to sentence her to death by hanging. Lo and behold, the two missing children came back the next day unharmed. But now, it is too late, she is coming back and haunting/killing/looking creepy in her porcelain mask on the night that a child loses their last tooth. In order to escape her wrath, you have to stay in the light; which is the case of the main character Kyle, who has been staying in the light for 17 years...can we say 'fraidy cat?

Now, I am not sure how the story of how the women died corresponds to her being afraid of light. Does the light remind her of the fire she burned in? If so, that has nothing to do with her being hung to death for a crime she did not committ...it was her own stupid fault that she got burnt in a fire and ended up with a fugly face...
Also, why does she target children when it was the adults that sentenced her to die? Old creepy lady, you don't make any sense! This was probably one of the most poorly developed horror movies I have ever watched. I could have played a drinking game to how many times anyone said "stay in the light" or "don't go in the dark" or "stop looking at me with your creepy porcelain face". Ok, so I made up that last one.

Anyway, what else can I say? This movie outdid itself in the art of sucking.